Build-a-Bear Incident (Team Necromancer)

Text Exchange

The Build-a-Bear Incident

Haley: Due to unforeseen circumstances, we’re going to be a little late.

Sam: I don’t like the sound of that. It could mean a lot of things.

Sam: Please tell me you at least picked up the girls.

Haley: Of course! I’m not completely irresponsible.

Sam: Because my stepmom was very hesitant to let us babysit. We can’t screw this up.

Haley: Yes, I know. You’ve only said it about 1,000 times. *eyeroll emoji*

Sam: Do I want to know why you’re late?

Haley: It’s no big deal. We just stopped by Build-a-Bear. I thought it would be fun, and they wanted to make you something.

Sam: Oh, okay. That’s pretty cute. What did they make me?

Haley: …so about that. Turns out the girls’ idea of building a bear might differ from normal kids.

Sam: What did they do?

Haley: I don’t know if you’ve ever built a bear, but they do this cute thing where you add a little stuffed heart with the fluff…

Sam: HALEY, WHAT DID THEY DO?!?

Haley: And you can add a little voice box and a scent. They got you this cute winter monster bear. It has horns!

Sam: WHAT. DID. THEY. DO?

Haley: They attached a spirit to the heart. Turns out they really wanted to BUILD A BEAR, you know?

Sam: Oh, well that’s not that bad.

Haley: It’s sentient. You have a sentient stuffed bear.

Sam: Could be worse.

Haley: When they attached it, they gave it a host body. James says this is how you make a poltergeist.

Haley: I regret letting them get the voice box option. Your bear has a filthy mouth. I’ve named him Salty Bear.

Sam: …

Sam: …that’s worse.

Sam: Do I want to know where they got the blood?

Haley: One of them had a swiss army knife, and the other one had chalk. Don’t worry. James had band aids. It was only a teeny cut. 

Sam: James must be in a tizzy.

Haley: He says their circle was a little wobbly, but all and all, not bad. Who says “tizzy” anymore?

Sam: Me, but only in relation to James. Is he freaking out?

Haley: He bought them ice cream. That’s why we’re late.

Sam: I don’t believe you.

Haley: *sends photo of the girls with their ice cream*

*

Sam: You bought them ice cream?

James: Summoning and capturing a poltergeist isn’t easy. They did very good work today. They won’t have your power levels, but they will be solid necromancers when they reach adulthood. Therefore, ice cream was earned.

James: Children need to be praised and rewarded.

Sam: They raised a ghost in Build-a-Bear and caused havoc. Why are you not freaking out?

James: They’re children, Sam. They make mistakes. We’ve bribed the employees and the shop is temporarily shut down while they clean everything up. Haley convinced everyone it was a youtube stunt. 

James: You should be very proud of your sisters. Haley didn’t panic and handled everything well and the girls are necromancing at a fifth grade level.

Sam: You made that last part up.

James: I did. 

Sam: You’re not allowed to have a sense of humor. You’re the straight man. It throws everyone off.

*

Sam: What does James mean, “cleaned everything up?”

Haley: There was fluff EVERYWHERE. And some of the kids were crying. It’s cool. James got the blood and chalk with a wet wipe. I swear he has the jacket equivalent of Marry Poppin’s carpet bag.

Sam: He would make the best mom. He’s always prepared.

Haley: We need to get one of those flashy things like they have in Men in Black. The memory wipe thing. It would save us a lot of bribe money.

Sam: You know that’s a made-up thing, right?

Haley: We can raise the dead, but can’t wipe memories? That’s ridiculous.

Sam: Life is hard, Haley.

Haley: Hey, Salty Bear wants to facetime.  You free?

Sam: No.

Haley: I guess now is a good time to tell you’re we’re not allowed in Build-a-Bear anymore.

Sam: There are other locations.

Haley: No, like in any Build-a-Bear. We’ve been banned nationwide.

Sam: I’m weirdly proud?

Haley: James says we’re heading back to the house. He wants to show the girls some things.

*

Sam: James, NO.

James: They’re going to learn it anyway. Better they learn it from me than picking up off the streets. Think of their education, Sam.

Sam: my stepmom is never going to let us babysit again.

James: Next time we watch them, we’ll frisk them first. It will be fine.

Haley: Are you home yet? Salty Bear really wants to facetime you.

Sam: Fine. Put him on.