Halloween Text Exchange (Team Necromancer)

Halloween Text Exchange

Ramon: I thought you got candy?

Sam: James did. He was forced to go to Costco on a Saturday and now isn’t speaking to me.

Ramon: Where is it?

Sam: I left it on the counter—we didn’t have a chance to put it away. Taco emergency.

Ramon: It’s not on the counter now.

Sam: James is with me, so he didn’t put it away. Ask Frank or Brooke?

Ramon: Brooke is off to wherever she goes when she’s not corporeal. I’ll text Frank.

Ramon: Frank is apparently at the Root beer store getting supplies for the gnomes.

Sam: The Root beer store?

Ramon: It’s a little shop that just sells root beer and weird sodas. He’s bringing me a bacon soda.

Sam: That’s disgusting.

Ramon: I’m drinking it for Science.

Sam: Science is disgusting.

Sam: Wait, then who put away the candy? We had 3 boxes of full chocolate bars. Costco sized boxes.

Ramon: No one put it away. It’s gone. I’ve checked the whole kitchen.

Sam: That doesn’t make any sense. Do we have poltergeists? Or some new creature that lives off chocolate that I don’t know about?

Sam: Ramon?

Sam: Did the chocolate eating monster eat you?

Sam: You’re making me nervous. 

Ram: Sorry, Sammy. Something went past the window. I went to investigate.

Sam: ?

Ramon: Found the chocolate. Or at least the wrappers.

Sam: Do I want to know?

Ramon: Did you know that ingesting chocolate leads to inebriation in gnomes?

Sam: What?

Ramon: The gnomes are candy-drunk. Naked. Riding chickens.

Sam: We don’t have chickens. Where did they get chickens?

Ramon: I’m more concerned about where they got the sparklers and the tiny lances.

Ramon: They’re chicken jousting!

Ramon: This is awesome.

Sam: Please don’t send me pictures of the gnomes naked riding chickens.

Ramon: too late.

Sam: I hate you.

Ramon: James is going to need to go back to Costco.

Sam: I’m not going to tell him that.

Ramon: Let’s make Frank do it.

Ramon: Wait, when you said Taco Emergency, do you mean you went to go get tacos or something is wrong with Taco?

Sam: Both. The emergency with Taco lead to me wanting tacos, because apparently repeatedly yelling “Taco emergency!” does that to a person.

Sam: Except James, who apparently has will power.

Ramon: Who can resist tacos? He’s not human.

Sam: Technically, he’s not human, he just has a human form.

Ramon: I assume you’re bringing me tacos?

Sam: I’m not a monster.

Ramon: Is Taco okay?

Sam: Yeah, he just ate all the pumpkins.

Ramon: The pumpkins we got to carve? That’s a lot of pumpkin.

Sam: He looked like one of those balloons you sometimes see in parades.

Ramon: Is he okay?

Sam: Yup. Turns out pumpkin has a lot of fiber. Poop EVERYWHERE.

Ramon: Everywhere?

Sam: We had to take a lot of things to the dry cleaners.

Ramon: Bet they had questions.

Sam: No, this is the one James always goes to. They get paid extra to not ask questions. But the bill is going to be horrendous. Rugs. Clothes…

Sam: Oh, by the way, don’t sit on the couch.

Ramon:  Maybe we should get those foam pumpkins? The ones they have at craft stores?

Sam: We did get one to try. Taco ate that one, too.

Ramon: Wow.

Sam: So now he’s getting lots of fluids, we’re getting tacos, and I’m sending Frank to get more pumpkins.

Ramon: Should we tell Frank about the gnomes?

Sam: Just send him the photos.

Ramon: Done. Also, it’s now the background on my phone.

Sam: Of course it is.