Halloween Text Exchange (Team Firebug)
Halloween Party (Team Firebug)
Ezra: *sends picture* I need eyes on me.
Ava: Does that mean you need our opinion on your costume, or that you just want us to look at you?
Ezra: Yes, and of course. You should always look at me. I’m a feast for the eyes.
Lock: Someday I will learn to mute this chat.
Lock: Your costume is…um…I’m sorry, but what, exactly, is your costume?
Ava: Okay, good, because I couldn’t figure it out, either. I mean, I like the gray mini dress and the red ping pong balls—bonus point for have two of them strategically placed, but I have no idea what the takeaway is supposed to be.
Ezra: I’m Sexy Covid.
Ava: …you’re what now?
Lock: Too soon, my dude.
Ava: Why sexy? Why?
Ezra: Any costume I wear is sexy by default because it’s on me. I thought we all learned that from the horse costume last year?
Lock: Right. I didn’t expect to have to confront anything about my sexuality that night for sure, but I feel like I came out of it a better man.
Ava: He did make a sexy horse.
Ezra: See? So, sexy Covid.
Ava: I’m not sure a plague should be sexy.
Lock: I’m not sure Abraham Lincoln should be a sexy costume either, but you can order one online.
Ava: Sexy costumes have gone too far!
Ezra: Sexy costumes haven’t gone far enough!
Lock: I really do need to learn to mute this group chat.
Ezra: We could make it a group costume! One of you can be a sexy doctor or nurse.
Lock: The other can be a sexy health insurance company making everything worse instead of better.
Ava: That’s a deep cut. How would one dress as health insurance?
Lock: Cape, top hat, mustache that you twirl. Done.
Ezra: A literal mustache twirling villain. I like it. Villains are always sexy.
Ava: Okay, I call sexy health insurance. I want a cape and a mustache to twirl.
Lock: Fine, I’ll be a sexy nurse.
Ezra: You can take my blood pressure anytime. Rawr.
Lock: You got it, hot stuff.
Ava: service denied.
Ezra: what?
Ava: Our doctors on staff have decided that your procedure isn’t necessary. If you’d like to file an appeal, you need to fill out forms 3-184B, as well as forms 191-254, and turn them into our office. Our hours are 1-1:15 PM every third Thursday.
Ava: *twirls mustache*
Lock: Stop it. You’re scaring me. It’s TOO REAL.
Ezra: Maybe we should make Ava be a sexy plague doctor instead.
Ava: Too late. I’ve already ordered the mustache.
Lock: *mutes chat*
Ava: Awww, you’re no fun.
Ezra: It’s okay, I’ve already slid into his DMs with like 15 pictures of me in my costume.
Ava: Of course you have.
Ezra: yours, too.
Ava: *sighs* of course you have.
Ezra: We’re going to get best group costume. I can feel it. Think we can get anyone else in on it? Fitz would probably make an excellent sexy bedpan.
Ezra: Hello?
Ezra: Anyone?
Ava: *mutes chat*
Ezra: Like many artists, I’m not appreciated in my own time.
Lock: Please stop sending me photos of you runway walking as Sexy Covid.
Ezra: Can’t stop, won’t stop.
Lock: *sighs*
Ava: Okay, but like, now that I’ve thought about it, Fitz would make a sexy bedpan.
Ezra: Right?!?