Make It Weird Text Convo (Team Necromancer)

Make it Weird Text Convo

Sam: I just wanted you to know that I love you and appreciate you in my life. 💕 🐻

Ramon: Love you, too, Boo. And of course you do. I’m awesome.

Ramon: Wait. Why are you telling me now? You’re not dying, are you?

Sam: No, I’m fine. It’s just…I’ve been thinking. Life’s short. Shit happens. I want to make sure the important people in my life know they’re loved. A lot. I want to make it weird. I don’t want anyone to die not knowing how I feel.

Ramon: You do realize that, even if the worst happened, you could just raise that person from the dead and let us know?

Sam: While this is technically true, I prefer to tell you now, so you live your life knowing it, and not raising your corpse after the fact in a half assed fix because I couldn’t express my feelings.

Ramon: I’ve seen you raise the dead. It’s hardly half-assed. That’s a lot of work.

Sam: You know, when I said this to Brooke, she just said, ‘I love you, too’ and hugged me.

Ramon: Women are trained better. They aren’t raised in the sludge of toxic masculinity.

Sam: No, they get raised in the results of toxic masculinity.

Ramon: True enough. In my defense, I did respond with feelings first. What did Frank say?

Sam: He asked if he’d done something wrong and if he was getting fired.

Ramon: Wow, that’s an even darker take than mine. That boy might need some therapy.

Sam: I’ve met his parents. That boy definitely needs some therapy.

Ramon: Have you texted James?

Sam: No. I’m working up to that one.

Ramon: Smart. Now that’s the one where you should get really weird. Make it uncomfortable. Make him feel so loved he might puke.

Sam: We should both text him.

Ramon: Dude. Yes. Texting James

Sam: I just wanted to say that I love and appreciate you.

Ramon: And I want to add that not only do I agree, but that you’re also a very handsome man.

Sam: The handsomest.

Ramon: And you dress really nice? Like, suspiciously nice.

Sam: Your cologne smells like the earth after the rain.

Ramon: You have the fine eyes of a Jane Austin heroine.

Sam: You have a butt that won’t quit.

Sam: Wait. I think we might have passed that fine line between appreciation and objectification.

Ramon: I don’t think that line is as fine as you think it is. You know what is fine? James.

James: It’s not objectification if it’s true.

Sam: I don’t think that’s how it works.

James: Either way, I appreciate and accept your praise and affection.

Sam: It’s very hard to get weird with it when the response is that classy.

Ramon: Way to ruin our fun, James.

James: I’d apologize, but I don’t think I’m sorry.

James: I do suppose it’s only fair if I say that I also esteem you both greatly and hold you in my affection.

Sam: Well, shit, James. You’re a lot better at this than we are.

Ramon: Seriously, we can’t beat that and I’m not going to try. What do we do now?

James: Have you told Frank and Brooke how you feel?

Sam: yeah, Frank thought he was fired, and Brooke said she loved me, too.

James: Maybe you should go tell Frank some more, then? Ramon: That’s a good idea. We will make that boy feel loved and respected OR ELSE.

Sam: Yeah!

Sam: Do you think we’re taking this too far?

Ramon: I think we’re not taking it far enough.

James: I’m going to be proactive on this and tell you now that any and all suggestions of getting matching tattoos should involve a six-month waiting period.

Ramon: Killjoy.

Sam: My love for you can wait six months, Ramon.

Ramon: Aw, thanks, Boo. I’ll go ahead and schedule our appointment.

James: sighs

Sam: Don’t worry. We’ll make an appointment for you, too. You’re part of the team.

James: Thanks. 🙄

Ramon: You’re welcome.